It seems they have a pill for everything these days - everything except motivation. It's totally necessary for setting and achieving any kind of goal, so you think they'd have invented that by now. I mean, yeah, they've got pills for certain specific KINDS of motivation (the myriad commercials for which are so fun to explain to inquisitive children), but that's not what I mean.
I mean the kind of motivation that puts voices in your head that tell you you've just GOT to make a change, for real and for good this time (ahem..."Lose some weight!"). Or maybe they tell you that you CAN do that crazy thing you said you'd never do (ahem..."Run a marathon!"). I mean that kind of motivation that pulls you up out of your nest in the corner of the couch and makes you want to lace up those shoes, get out there and GO! Heck, maybe somebody has invented it and it's illegal so I don't know about it; that's entirely possible. But, alas, legal or not, even if it did exist, I probably still wouldn't take it. Motivation comes from within, right. Eh, well...sometimes.
I've realized something about myself through this whole process - I have to have goals. I have to write them down, and I have to tell other people about them, even if they're not all that interested. I've talked about goals before - mini-goals, major goals, gotta have a goal! Goals motivate me, but I'm not always motivated to do what it takes to achieve the goal. I'm quite sure you've been in my shoes. Maybe you're still there. It's ok, I find myself in those shoes pretty often. They're very comfortable shoes. Let's call them the Slippers of Same. No, not "shame." SAME. There's no shame in same.
To state the obvious: most of the time, it's easier to just have things stay the same, even if you aren't really happy with the way things are. And if you are happy with the way things are, that's great, but it can be hard to get motivated to take your goals to the next level. No matter where you are in life, or what you're all about, there's always a "next level." Are you happy in your Slippers of Same, or are you ready for the Challenge of Change?
I'm done with the weight loss part. If the number never changes again (assuming it doesn't start going UP), I'm determined to be ok with that. That part of my Challenge of Change is over. I am and will continue to be happy in that pair of slippers.
So what is my challenge now? What is the goal? What happens NOW?
I had been comfortably stuck in the Running Slippers of Same ever since I completed the 10K race back in June. I had not run more than five consecutive miles since that race (and then only maybe like twice); I certainly hadn't braved six again, and I just didn't seem to want to. That's not to say I wasn't running. Lord no, I was running, almost every day, just not super far. And that's ok! I'm not saying that's not ok here. It was totally ok. I was maintaining, which is challenging enough, really, and things were staying the same. And "the same" is good, but Sameness is NOT my goal. I've changed myself a LOT, both physically and mentally over the past year and a half or so. I'm not ready to quit. I want to keep savoring the Challenge of Change.
I realized last week that I had gotten too comfortable in those slippers, and I thought about what I needed to do. What's next? I've met my weight goal and am successfully maintaining that. Yay. I've kept on running. Yay. I'm still working on the masters and have an interview soon. Yay. What's next? Realistically. A marathon is NOT next, but a half is. That's IT!! THAT is the next level, for me. Run faster. Run farther. Challenge my notion of who I am; become a REAL runner. Sure. Alright then. I'm down with that. Bring it on.
And I AM going to do it. I've paid my fee. We've booked a hotel. I've started a REAL training program. I am actually going to RUN this race. I have kicked off the Slippers of Same and am embracing this new Challenge of Change. This is a tangible goal, and one I'm determined to reach. It doesn't hurt that the race is just for girls and the medal is super cute, either. When I cross the finish line in September, I'll post a pic wearing it. I may never take it off.
Until we read again, Friends...keep trying for what you're trying for!
TTYL,
Ali
...this is the race I'm going to run...in case anyone wants to join me...
http://www.womenshalfmarathon.com/
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